Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
