fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
