Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
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Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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