Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
