I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
