I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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