even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
