There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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