need another drink. this is the easiest way
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize