I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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