ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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