Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

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  (302): Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life http://tfl.nu/pzmw
  Replies (67) Good night (6010) Bad night (1337)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4906) Bad night (1600)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

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  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5347) Bad night (1518)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.

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  (401): after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome. http://tfl.nu/gm5a
  Replies (25) Good night (5922) Bad night (1427)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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  (612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2
  Replies (9) Good night (1444) Bad night (4031)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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  (410): it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral http://tfl.nu/q6za
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (2447)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  thats the international knock for joint time

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  (423): you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell (901): thats the international knock for joint time http://tfl.nu/xbry
  Replies (7) Good night (4346) Bad night (1030)
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  (626): View more from California

  AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN

  (1-626): View more from California

  we're fated to lesbian

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  (626): AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN (1-626): we're fated to lesbian http://tfl.nu/bohp
  Replies (5) Good night (1329) Bad night (690)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna

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  (941): im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna http://tfl.nu/nksh
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (469)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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  (845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q
  Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (357)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.

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  (902): Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/e3ez
  Replies (5) Good night (1627) Bad night (534)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.

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  (850): Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one. http://tfl.nu/2j08
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash

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  (847): Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash http://tfl.nu/hj9z
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?

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  (508): How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster? http://tfl.nu/rbos
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.

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  (724): Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots. http://tfl.nu/ffvf
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (452)

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