Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(575): View more from New Mexico

This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

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(575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai. http://tfl.nu/0dst

Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (3230)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?

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(202): is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection? http://tfl.nu/uyo2

Replies (86) Good night (3024) Bad night (1152)
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(631): View more from New York

It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.

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(631): It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself. http://tfl.nu/t99x

Replies (16) Good night (3615) Bad night (972)
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(410): View more from Maryland

9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.

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(410): 9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season. http://tfl.nu/tefo

Replies (23) Good night (4624) Bad night (594)
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(516): View more from New York

I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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(516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u

Replies (47) Good night (2174) Bad night (4567)
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(561): View more from Florida

I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

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(561): I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in http://tfl.nu/qgu1

Replies (12) Good night (5016) Bad night (1521)
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(208): View more from Idaho

The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"

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(208): The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?" http://tfl.nu/toa2

Replies (17) Good night (8088) Bad night (1893)
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(360): View more from Washington

super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again

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(360): super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again http://tfl.nu/5apw

Replies (37) Good night (1959) Bad night (5453)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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(616): You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races. http://tfl.nu/trt2

Replies (6) Good night (2997) Bad night (1119)
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(316): View more from Kansas

So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That sounds dangerous

(316): View more from Kansas

Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.

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(316): So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses (1-316): That sounds dangerous (316): Don't worry......were wearing oven mits. http://tfl.nu/woxn

Replies (9) Good night (4644) Bad night (1037)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.

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(618): Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I. http://tfl.nu/bxpy

Replies (5) Good night (3378) Bad night (1060)
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(512): View more from Texas

In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.

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(512): In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian. http://tfl.nu/ew8b

Replies (7) Good night (2505) Bad night (1031)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka

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(404): Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka http://tfl.nu/m383

Replies (5) Good night (1017) Bad night (921)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's

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(616): Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's http://tfl.nu/uou0

Replies (12) Good night (982) Bad night (498)
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(303): View more from Colorado

So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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(303): So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities. http://tfl.nu/dlp3

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (379)

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