im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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