i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.