It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween