Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Do you still have your period?

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  (703): Do you still have your period? http://tfl.nu/m9zt
  Replies (7) Good night (683) Bad night (1225)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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  (404): Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow http://tfl.nu/pzca
  Replies (5) Good night (2817) Bad night (1253)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2841) Bad night (1761)
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  (619): View more from California

  Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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  (619): Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem http://tfl.nu/oy3i
  Replies (7) Good night (867) Bad night (1787)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2189) Bad night (785)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.

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  (252): Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws. http://tfl.nu/qwnl
  Replies (12) Good night (1175) Bad night (741)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS

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  (541): THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS http://tfl.nu/c3uu
  Replies (15) Good night (2275) Bad night (578)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?

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  (940): Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow? http://tfl.nu/gsnf
  Replies (8) Good night (1294) Bad night (378)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.

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  (250): I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder. http://tfl.nu/j76c
  Replies (9) Good night (2480) Bad night (958)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.

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  (262): Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/fpvj
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (306)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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  (228): She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics. http://tfl.nu/kvtj
  Replies (8) Good night (710) Bad night (1188)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.

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  (623): Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing. http://tfl.nu/8dgm
  Replies (8) Good night (1909) Bad night (303)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (342)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.

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  (405): In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day. (405): I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me. http://tfl.nu/iy6i
  Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Spopky scrzy skeletonssz

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  (615): I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET. (865): Spopky scrzy skeletonssz http://tfl.nu/c8hh
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (304)

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