I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I will be naked everywhere
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night