Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog

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  (318): Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog http://tfl.nu/md3l
  Replies (263) Good night (958) Bad night (5592) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

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  (443): Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach? http://tfl.nu/arsp
  Replies (31) Good night (1979) Bad night (3242) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (504) Bad night (5460) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

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  (509): I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good. http://tfl.nu/3e0k
  Replies (30) Good night (4990) Bad night (1806) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He managed to light the Jello on fire...

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  (251): He managed to light the Jello on fire... http://tfl.nu/tu7i
  Replies (16) Good night (5701) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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  (414): and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex http://tfl.nu/wscy
  Replies (22) Good night (1052) Bad night (5253) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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  (717): i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender. http://tfl.nu/6o47
  Replies (9) Good night (836) Bad night (4287) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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  (559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa
  Replies (21) Good night (4539) Bad night (1285)
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  (949): View more from California

  You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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  (949): You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this" http://tfl.nu/ckz0
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (1768)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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  (313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv
  Replies (9) Good night (629) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.

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  (727): I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy. http://tfl.nu/oiln
  Replies (8) Good night (2992) Bad night (559)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (1985) Bad night (646)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (1803) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.

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  (916): I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother. http://tfl.nu/2nlw
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.

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  (775): I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box. http://tfl.nu/0vry
  Replies (2) Good night (153) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt

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