shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
