Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
