she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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