very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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