We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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