Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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