Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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