why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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