thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
