Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
