i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup