Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...

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  (206): On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on... http://tfl.nu/5u5y
  Replies (19) Good night (4260) Bad night (623)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6145) Bad night (950)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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  (765): There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break. http://tfl.nu/iu19
  Replies (13) Good night (1266) Bad night (4029)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9075) Bad night (1078)
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  (619): View more from California

  he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up

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  (619): he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up http://tfl.nu/8iri
  Replies (5) Good night (2114) Bad night (958)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2125) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (540)
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  (858): View more from California

  I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.

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  (858): I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out. http://tfl.nu/k2ug
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (743)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

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  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (386)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

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  (580): Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out http://tfl.nu/fusv
  Replies (13) Good night (916) Bad night (1090)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore

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  (502): Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore http://tfl.nu/xuyl
  Replies (9) Good night (1250) Bad night (476)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.

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  (786): I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming. http://tfl.nu/qge1
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??

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  (613): Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea?? http://tfl.nu/5r0c
  Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.

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  (585): You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking. http://tfl.nu/3gz9
  Replies (4) Good night (453) Bad night (219)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.

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  (785): I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright. http://tfl.nu/s51t
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (279)

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