I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest