Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

Fav 21 2203 850
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

Fav 106 21727 1479
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

Fav 36 1210 9992
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.

Fav 5 1153 760
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

Fav 7 751 1629
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

Fav 8 609 1367
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?

Fav 2 1216 498
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.

Fav 1 618 464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn

Fav 0 28 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT