Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little. http://tfl.nu/w7gx
  Replies (31) Good night (931) Bad night (2973)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (608) Bad night (5157)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?

  (941): View more from Florida

  better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Why do guys in porn never have boxers on? (941): better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn http://tfl.nu/0wxg
  Replies (28) Good night (6799) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose. http://tfl.nu/bo74
  Replies (8) Good night (5690) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (7832) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?" http://tfl.nu/ksw8
  Replies (13) Good night (5106) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place. http://tfl.nu/pxw5
  Replies (7) Good night (4353) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog http://tfl.nu/1yan
  Replies (12) Good night (907) Bad night (2715)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS (443): I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO. http://tfl.nu/tc5m
  Replies (16) Good night (3187) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think. http://tfl.nu/5pb2
  Replies (9) Good night (1588) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out. http://tfl.nu/ghi2
  Replies (12) Good night (407) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door... http://tfl.nu/qt3a
  Replies (19) Good night (683) Bad night (1942)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed. http://tfl.nu/ptzk
  Replies (12) Good night (1989) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to? http://tfl.nu/5ylh
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (362)

Randomize