I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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