Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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