i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
