What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
