I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
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Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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