Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
