After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
