New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
