dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize