I think I am morally bankrupt
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im six kinds of drunk right now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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