I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
