I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bring money and cleavage
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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