i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
