come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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