Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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