conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
