Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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