My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
