bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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