im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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