ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
