We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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