I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
try to milk me bitch
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