Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
