So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
jump out the window naked night went bad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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