i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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