I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
