No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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