Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
