Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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