I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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