Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
