insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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