her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
