Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize