I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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