ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
